When a loved one has passed on, the next group of holidays can be painful, sad, and scary. But your loved one would’ve wanted you to be happy and joyful, smiling as you remember the good times you shared. To work toward that peaceful feeling, find a way to celebrate your loved one’s life this holiday season.
The great memories you had with that person can be a place to start. Pictures are always great, too. They may make you feel a bit sad, but there are usually times in that sadness where you’ll find yourself smiling or laughing over something silly or touching that you remembered or saw in a picture. Incorporating that loving feeling into your holidays can help you to heal.
No matter your religious faith, you can use prayer and your spiritual beliefs to help you get through trying or lonely times when you miss your loved one. Sometimes, special times like holidays magnify those feelings, and more time to pray or meditate is needed. Don’t be afraid to take the time you need for prayer.
Hold onto the understanding that your loved one is at peace. Remind yourself that the struggles they faced here in their lifetime are no more. There is comfort in those thoughts.
Dwell on the Happy Times
Of course, you miss your loved one, but you also have the joy of knowing that person for whatever amount of time they were a blessing in your life.
Use these tips to help you focus on your happy times together:
1. Cherish what you had.
When the holidays come around, and you start to get sad over what you don’t have, think about all the times you did have. What would your loved one want you to remember about him or her?
2. Focus your energy on being joyful for what was.
Whether you had your loved one for a long or short time, you had love in your life for that time. That’s a very precious gift. Elevate the value of that gift by savoring the happy moments you remember.
Everyone has memories of their loved ones that make them smile or that they re-live again and again. Take those memories out and look at them over the holidays.
You might like to hang up your loved one’s stocking at Christmastime, light a candle for them, or make a favorite food dessert. Honor your way of processing grief. We do not all process grief the same way. While all of these recommendations are solid, none of them may fit into the way you may need to process your feelings, and that’s okay. They didn’t work for me at first. I say that to be 100% real with you.
In 2015, we watched my mom suffer for six months then pass. Then, not even a year later, my dad died from a sudden heart attack. So, in just one year, I lost the two people that meant the most to me.
I am a Leo, so I was the one to take the lead and make all the arrangements and deal with the business side. No doubt, I was devastated, but things needed to get done! So, I postponed my grieving until I completed all the business side of their deaths. Then, when I finally gave myself permission to let go, I fell apart. I turned to Xanax and alcohol. It was a profoundly dark period for me. As a matter of fact, I canceled Christmas because I didn’t believe in the meaning anymore. I didn’t want to celebrate the “Savior’s” birth because how did he “save” me? He took the two most influential people in my life!
Of course, in hindsight, I realize I was deep in the anger stage of grief. But something interesting happened. During this “Christmas Cancellation” period, I became more grounded. It forced me to look at why I celebrated Christmas when my parents were living. One word, tradition. It wasn’t necessarily because Jesus was my “Savior,” and I wanted to celebrate his birthday. No, it was because it was what I was taught to do, to follow tradition.
Well, who says you have to maintain tradition, especially if it comes at the cost of your inner peace? I say you don’t because I created new traditions, personal holidays. We started the tradition of traveling over the winter holiday break. Our first trip was to Gatlinburg for a “Smoky Mountain Holiday.” However, that next trip in 2016 was to California, and guess what? That is where I realized my dreams. The Pacific Ocean brought me so much peace and serenity that I decided it was my dream to live close to the ocean. Therefore, I developed a three-year plan and even had a 7/1/19 countdown! Thinking back, I smile because I am sure my family and friends were tired of that countdown.
Would I be in California today so much closer to inner peace if these devastating events didn’t occur? Who knows? All I know is, I am. I miss my parents like crazy, but we now have new traditions, and I am living out my dreams and life’s purpose. While all of the recommendations I just gave are excellent ideas, do not let anyone force you out of grief. It is a process that you must navigate for your best welfare when you are ready. Only you will know that time.
Mourning is part of the healing process, but remember to celebrate, too. Everyone does things differently when it comes to showing their love for someone who has gone on before them. Focus on a celebration that feels right to you. No matter what it is, if it’s right for you, then it’s perfect for the occasion.
Because everyone is different, some people might question what you’re doing or why. That’s okay. Honor your loved ones and celebrate their life in a way that brings you joy and peace this holiday.
I am not going to lie and say this process is easy. It’s not. However, the good new is, you can have support from someone who can relate if you need it. So, if you would like additional guidance or support, just contact me and we can rise together!
Additionally if you can relate, leave a comment at the bottom of this post. You may help someone else or it may just feel good to get your feelings out.
Each week various extended activities relating to the blog topic for the week will be available to our tribe sisters to practice. Such activities could include meditations, affirmations, worksheets, journal prompts, mentorships and more. Additionally, you can tap into some amazing positive energy for encouragement, inspiration, motivation, wisdom, love, light, positive energy, and support from other like-minded sisters working toward similar goals. So check us out sis and let’s start rising together!
This website uses cookies.
Read More
