Living in society often requires fitting into boxes and following rules, but we lose our true authentic self in the process. After self-reflection, I discovered the ways I actually lost my true self. Therefore, I am sharing some of my experiences.
Over the holidays, my friend and I attended an ornament-making class. During the activity, a volunteer asked us what we each did for a living. My friend embraced the question while I cringed at it.
You see, my job doesn’t reflect who I am so, I vaguely responded: “I work for a nonprofit.”) and went on to explain that I like to refrain from sharing what I do because it doesn’t define who I am.
Earlier that week, I shared my work performance evaluation with my mom. The feedback was mostly positive; however, I focused on the one area which “needed improvement”: my writing. This led me to think more about my article “Are You Truly Your Authentic Self At Work?” and my authentic self has been stripped away.
As a kid, writing and drawing were a form of expression for me, but what I was taught in school destroyed my interest. As I alluded with my current job, I work with other journalists who thoroughly critique my writing (writing is neither an essential part of my job nor the organization’s success), which has killed the last bit of passion I had left.
A few jobs back, I worked fora boss who controlled the people in our department. My boss controlled what we read (someone was banned from reading “Fifty Shades of Grey“), who we talked to (no one outside of our department, including the CEO), and what we wore. To this day, I am very cognizant of what I do on my breaks, who to talk to, and what I’m wearing. Furthermore, I am mindful of my hairstyles and haven’t tried any adventurous styles because I wanted to remain “professional.”
The job before that, I worked for several years for a small, independently-owned doctor’s office. The doctor was very judgmental about one’s personal life, so I left mine at home, which stifled my personality at work. I was heavily involved in the community in my last job, so privacy for my life became very important to me.
While making ornaments, I became frustrated because I couldn’t come up with a design. I realized that my work experiences (and school) have suppressed who I am, resulting in a loss of my creativity and passion for the things that once allowed me to be my authentic self.
However, I am taking action and have made the first step to finding my true passion, which reflects who I am. I wrote down the many interests I have and am currently assessing my intention for each and conducting research. Then my goal is to pursue one of those interests each year.
Finally, I will share something a mentor said to me (not verbatim). Imagine you’re born as a square, but the world molds you into a circle throughout time. Don’t allow the world to mold you into something you’re not.
Did you find this blog post helpful? If so, share it with a friend! Also, if you are interested in interacting with me and my journey, follow me on Instagram @aquarian_busy_b.
My last post will be published in May 2020. So, I want to thank you for joining me on my journey to seek a more authentic life for myself. This blog experience was new for me, but I am grateful to have had this opportunity because it allowed me to rediscover my writing passion while sharing my journey with others.
My hope was that my articles would provide perspectives and tips that were useful and offer a way to connect Divinely Elevated readers with my experience. I hope you enjoyed reading my pieces and wish you the best on your journey to seek your authentic life.
~ Aquarian
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