As an Empath, I have become very mindful of the effects that individual relationships have upon me. Apparently, the closer I am in a relationship, the deeper I feel their joy and stress. Concerning my family, it has transcended into physical experiences in my body.
I come from a small but mighty family. My mother, sister, and I are incredibly close in our relationships. It is as if a part of them lives inside of me. During my sister’s pregnancy, I experienced the physical symptoms right along with her. Another example of shared pain occurred with my mother. It was a time in mom’s life when her right arm suffered from pain and numbness with no explanation. Yes, you guessed it, my right arm was in pain and full of numbness. Once mom was diagnosed and treated for spinal stenosis, the pain and numbness cleared for both of us.
As an Empath, I share the same deep emotional connection with all members of my immediate family. However, it is only with my mom and sister that I can physically feel their pain. Perhaps it is that their energy is stronger. Or maybe it is that they are the only two family members I have known my entire 49 years of life. I do not understand why. However, I know that being an Emapth shows up differently in my mother and sister’s relationship. To learn more about Empathetic illnesses, check out this particular blog post by Dr. Orloff.
Parenting is exceptionally hard on an Empath and has been one of my biggest challenges emotionally. I feel the pain and struggles of my children to the very core of my being. All parents possess an inner lion when it comes to their children. We are protective by nature. Most parents have a natural connection with their children. We are sad when our children are sad; and happy when our children are happy.
However, for an Empath, take that emotion and jack it up on steroids about ten times. My life since parenthood has felt like the main attraction at a thrill park! Do you know what I mean? It’s the anxiety you feel on the slow climb to the top right before you plummet to the bottom! Let’s not leave out the sudden twist and turns that all great coasters have. Oh, and most importantly, your ride is in the dark; you can never foresee what lies ahead.
My daughter battles with anxiety and depression, and I feel her struggle. I can be in the happiest of moods when suddenly it will change to melancholy. Then, I start to cry and feel immensely blue. I have now learned these are the times my daughter is deep into a battle with her thoughts. I equally share in her highs. It brings me no greater joy than to see her having a good day, or even just a joyful moment.
I once heard that becoming a parent meant your heart would forever walk around outside of your body. For an Empath, that couldn’t be more true! To read more about the pros and cons of parenting as an Empath, check out this blog in Psychology Today.
Before even knowing that I was an Empath, my ability to feel other’s emotions caused strife in my physical relationships. Listen up, Empaths, because this is important. Due to your extreme nurturing ability and compassion, YOU WILL ATTRACT A NARCISSISTIC PARTNER if you are not careful! I am grateful for the lessons learned in my first marriage, but it came at a high cost of losing all of myself. My first marriage was to a true narcissist that left my spirit wholly crushed. I absorbed every ounce of his negative energy for ten years. When the marriage was over, I was over. There was nothing left of me.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “The deeper the love, the deeper the hurt/emotion”? Again, this couldn’t be more true for an Empath. Between my first and second marriage, I experienced a relationship that led me to know true love for the first time. The depth of my passion led me to feed off of his energy. Which, in turn, led my emotions to a place of overwhelm. His parting words haunted me for months on end, “You are the sweetest person I’ve ever met in my entire life, but the most emotional! That is something I can’t handle.” Well, hell, I obviously can’t handle it either!
Another failed relationship left me questioning myself and believing something was wrong with me. I’m guessing if you are an Emotional Empath (not yet discovered), you fall under his description too. Are you referred to as super sweet and compassionate but way too emotional and sensitive? If so, please let me be the first one to scream it out loud to you, “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFULLY MADE!” There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you! You possess a beautiful gift that not all people are prepared to accept.
Morning fog lifting above the Great Smoky Mountains of Tennessee
The road beyond the failed relationships was a steep mountain to climb. I needed to dive deep into my core to rediscover the beautiful spirit I had so freely given away! So, I immersed myself in books, seminars, podcasts, journaling, art. I sought out anything that could feed my journey to personal growth. Not only did I gain an understanding of my emotions, but I learned skills to ride the emotional waves much smoother than before.
I am happy to report that I am now married to the most amazing man EVER, AKA Mr. Wonderful! Not only is it amazing to thrive in a relationship as an Empath, we thrive as complementary opposites; fire and water. Years of communication and respect for our differences have led us to share love more profoundly than I ever could have imagined. It is possible to find a lover who not only accepts you but respects you just as you are—one who will love you through the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Respect and ongoing communication with your partner are essential. Often when I am sad, I don’t know the source; therefore, I cannot relay to my husband the “why.” However, what is essential is that he knows it is not because of him. The same is true with me. If he comes home from work, and I immediately feel his tension, I need to know that it is not because of me. We have narrowed our questioning down to this, “Is it me or something else?” It only gets asked one time, and then we trust in the answer. Insider Tip: As an Empath, you are usually the sunshine in the other person’s cloud. Therefore, nine times out of ten, the answer you will get from your partner is that “It’s something else.” Trust them, and don’t beat it to death.
Relationships are complicated, period! However, the more you learn about yourself and what it means to be an Empath, the more joy you will experience. As you fine-tune your gift, you will become keenly aware of the relationships in your life. There will be those to run from, those to keep at arm’s length, and those to bring close to your heart.
To learn a few extra tips about how to thrive in a relationship as an Empath, check out Dr. Judith Orloff’s blog.
Also, Dr. Orloff has many different quizzes on her website that you can take to check your sensitivity level in various relationships.
Thank you for taking the time to share my personal experience as an Empath and for joining me on this journey to discovery. Please come back again next month for part 3 of this 3 part series. I will be sharing simple strategies you can use to survive and thrive as an Empath and just in time to avoid the overload of the holidays!
Wildflower Soul will be featured as a guest blogger on divinelyelevated.com once a month, so feel free to come back every second Tuesday for an updated article.
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If you answered” Yes” to any of these questions, then welcome to my world, my friend! Won’t you please join my beautiful field of Wildflowers where we can grow together! Send me a message at Wildflowersoul70@gmail.com so that you can be the first to know when I launch my “Wildflower Soul” website!
Additionally, check out my Facebook Page. I look forward to growing with you! Read more about Wildflower Soul here.
Fueling up on positive energy with Mr. Wonderful at Rum Point in the Grand Cayman Islands
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